I will paint for you a picture. It is of a mother. She has shut herself in a room with her two children. She has a dresser pushed up against the door and a phone, not original to the room, in a corner just in case he breaks through. The mother never heard of domestic violence, shelters or hotlines. She didn't know what domestic violence even was.She had never been bloodied like the commercials about abuse, so she never associated it with herself, didn't feel she had anything to complain about. That is what her mother always told her. She was alone in everything, in every stand she would ever take, this was all she knew that day.
So there paces a mother with her two small children, shut up in a room, waiting. She hears the vehicle and door. She knows what is coming. And there it is, the six foot tall intimidating body of blind rage at the door pounding. He never did break through and he did leave the property. So what had fired up such a fury? They had been arguing. In an effort to distract herself from some inner calling to have a baby, the mother had begun to drown herself in researching supplements, homeopathy, etc. She had started taking higher doses of vitamin C, which she later learned had interfered with her body's ability to absorb the birth control pills she was taking. She ended up pregnant. She had no idea her partner absolutely never wanted any children so when they argued, she would tell him: well then you should have just had a vasectomy! The woman, tired of all the harrassment, had printed off and hung over the bed pictures of aborted fetuses. She felt if he was so dead set upon forcing this upon her, he damn well better face what he was asking. The man never did argue again with her after that incident. He went out and got himself that vasectamy. But what led up to the incident was not just an ornery woman, she was a woman pushed to her limits with undue influence, coercisive persuasion and threats. Her own mother calling and demanding she have an abortion because it was not fair to be forcing this on a man. Her mother always took the side of the men who abused her daughter, "What do you expect?!", she would say. According to her mother, the mother in our story was the worst evil ever visited upon any man. The Grammy calling with what were supposed to be loving, affectionate, convincing arguements such as "Well, look at me, even before the church said it was alright to use birth control, I started using it. You really should have an abortion". For the woman, it wasn't just about faith. It was not just about her feelings. They knew her story, they knew her reasons. She was basing her conviction upon experience. You see, she had had an abortion once already. During the proceedure, the doctor casually said to her: "This is going to take a moment, I have to get this tool(showed her tool) to crush it's head, it's getting stuck in the vaccuum". If one could hear the sheer scream of a soul in it's deepest state of pain, you would hear that scream from that momenmt unto this very day. They had lied to her. It was NOT just a lump of cells they were removing. They were killing her baby. A baby she would have loved and cherished despite it's inconvenience. Today that child would be 23. The mother imagines a son. His life saved that of his younger sister, however. For in his dying he gave the mother what she needed to stand up in the face of emotional, psychological, spiritual and physical violence to protect the life growing inside her.
And this hero of a mother, what ever became of her? Her daughter was stolen from her by the very man who wanted her dead to begin with. The mother recently had the opportunity and courage to confront this man about it. "Why did you never thank me for preserving the life of that child you will not share with me?". "It doesn't deserve it", his reply came easily. His daughter's very existence deserves no appreciation from him. He is not grateful to have her. She has no value to him and it shows in the way he treats her. His caring for her gets him approval and sympathy, attention and prestige. She is the knife he uses against her mother whom he hates with a passion because he cannot control her. His hatred is the poison he injects into that daughter so she will of her own perceived will strike out at her mother for him. "I made a mess of the kitchen and she will clean it all up when we get home", he says of and indirectly to his daughter. His slave, his housekeeper, his emotional pacifier who is not even worthy of his direct attention....the mother's baby daughter whose life she struggled for, who nursed at her breasts and clung to her leg until she was threatened with violence and led away by her sister.
This is what this mother wishes to deliver her child from. This is the cause for my request. This is not a matter of perception, this is what a trained eye will see the fact of. Any sense of protectiveness this man feels for his daughter is the same as any money hoarder protecting his investment, his property. They say you can tell an abuser by the way he treats his animals. This mother knows how this man treats his horses and other people. When in pain, his investments get nerves burnt so they will run anyways. And when they can no longer run, he burns them again so they won't limp while he sells them to the unsuspecting Amish. So, you gtell me, what would such a man be wiling to do to a daughter to keep his investment close to him so long as it's useful to him? And what will he do to her if that usefulness is threatened?
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