Just some train of thought writing that can probably be more fully explored and developed later:
I am sure we have all seen it; especially teachers in schools, when smart people do "bad things" and when "bad things happen to good people", etc. The cheerleader prom queen and class valedictorian end up pregnant drug addicts and no one understands because they came from such a good family. They see it in the super jock that beats up on his girlfriend. We see it in the "eccentric" billionaires and "mad" scientists. I remember in the private high school I attended, I was called into the principle's office because none of the teachers nor the principle could figure out why I was getting such poor grades. "You have one of the highest IQs in your class and yet you are barely making Ds, why is this?" I didn't know. I was just a kid. I was depressed. The depression was a shut down, a self-defense mechanism triggered by stress.
You can be intellectually advanced, but the emphasis and reliance upon that intelligence can cause a diminishing of the importance of emotions. One becomes imbalanced and even handicapped if the emotional aspects are not nurtured and brought to maturity. The immature emotional development then drags down the intelligence, causing it to make poor decisions. "You should know better than that!". Um, no we shouldn't. Wisdom, knowing, is not just an intellectual intelligence, it is knowledge coupled with understanding, the emotional experience of something. We are not truly smart unless we are intellectually and emotionally mature. And it is precisely other people's focus on my own intellectual abilities and maturity that led me to believe I had nothing wrong with me, when in fact, my emotional development was never acknowledged or adequately addressed. This is how geniuses make stupid choices.
This is why when sent to a counselor as a teen I responded logically, perfectly coherent and the counselor told me I didn't have to be there, I was just fine. It is why I believed him.
This is why we can intellectually answer something but people sense we are fakes: we are not feeling it. Because they sense our insecurity and doubt about "knowing" a thing, they accuse us of lying. We are experiencing cognitive dissonance as our head believes one thing: we are telling the truth, but our hearts are telling us another: we are experiencing self doubt due to insecurity born of emotional immaturity or invalidation or immaturity due to invalidation.
Anyone can know anything and yet not understand it. They can have the knowledge yet not apply it.
And anyone can understand something but not have the words/knowledge of it.
That is why people we think should know we love them for reasons we may give, don't actually know it. That is why people love someone and treat them like they hate them. It why we love people who treat us badly.
Once again, emotions, like fear or love, over ride the brain, causing damage through self-destructive behaviors and choices.
This is why we need to give our emotional intelligence words to express it's self. It is why intellectual intelligence cannot tell us what terrorism is. It is why intellectual intelligence cannot tell us what abuse it. It is only the emotional intelligence that can define and explain these things to us.
But at the same time, an emotionally healthy and happy person can make poor decisions when they lack or ignore their intellectual warnings, the rules, laws, and guidence set forth naturally, by parents with more worldly experience or an educated society.
That is where limitations come in, which may seem controlling or abusive if they were applied inappropriately. It is why limitations may be placed on one individual yet not another whose capacities might be more maturely developed. That is why people may see what they believe are "unfair" or inconsistent applications of rules, treatment, or laws. We may have all been born with equal rights, but we are not all born with equal capabilities nor into equally nurturing environments. It is why one victim of domestic violence may be granted custody while another victim of domestic violence may have custody taken from them. Both were born into traumatic environments, but only one has overcome it and moved on to maturity. That is why I can have compassion for my exes, yet understand that what I will ask of the courts is neither hypocritical nor detrimental to my children. I was once asked "What?! It's OK for you to do but not me?", to which I replied honestly "Yes". I hate to say it, but yes, what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander. One can divulge personal information to extend understanding of a situation for the greater good of themselves, their family and their community, whereas another will be doing it untrained, resulting in it simply being gossip and a cause for unnecessary drama. And there is productive drama as well as non-productive drama; drama we should engage in and that which we shouldn't.
This is why I may choose to do that which was done to me, not as an act of vengence, out of maliciousness, or wanting to bring trouble upon anyone, but because of careful consideration of knowledge and understanding gained over the past few years concerning what is in the best interests of all involved. As much as I detest the legal process, it is needed to limit the immaturity dependent upon it for it's own legitimacy. It is the only thing it will respect because it has no self control nor understanding of what respect is in it's self.
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